


Every me and Every you

by ks_darkstorm



Series: 'Looking' Patrick/Richie [2]
Category: Looking (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Back Together, Infidelity, Love Confessions, M/M, Nicknames, Past Relationship(s), Porn with Feelings, not Patrick or Richie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 22:31:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3667650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ks_darkstorm/pseuds/ks_darkstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He had never thought that there would ever become a time in his life where he would become ‘that’ guy. The kind of guy who took from other men, uncaringly and almost cruelly. He had always prided himself on his strong morels, the way in which he never wanted to stand on anyone’s toes in order to get where and what he wanted, but now here he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every me and Every you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [intheembers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/intheembers/gifts).



> Wrote this last night when I couldn't sleep, it hasn't been beta read so all mistakes remain mine.
> 
> Title by the band Placebo.

He had never thought that there would ever become a time in his life where he would become ‘that’ guy. The kind of guy who took from other men, uncaringly and almost cruelly. He had always prided himself on his strong morels, the way in which he never wanted to stand on anyone’s toes in order to get where and what he wanted, but now here he was.  


How him and Patrick had even gotten to this point was almost a blur, he had awoken only a little after two AM to the sound of heavy fists beating against his door, and he had risen from his bed, the sheets sticking to his skin in the humidity of the night to find Patrick on his door step, eye’s red from tears that where no longer falling, an almost fierce determination set on his face.

His first thought was to close the door on the other mans face, heart beginning to pound erratically against his chest, knowing that if he was to let Patrick in, then everything would change, good or bad he wasn’t sure.

But he hadn’t, when could he ever deny Patrick anything in life? Even after their relationship had ended nearly a year ago, he still found himself always looking out for the other man in one way or another, keeping tabs on him via intel from his friends. 

So Richie had done the only thing that made sence to him at this point, he let him in, stood aside and opened the door as far as it would go.

Patrick had been everything Richie had wanted in a partner, yeah he had his faults, maybe more than a few, but the good always seemed to out weigh the bad. It was as if he was the only light in Richie’s world, that one bright moment in the week when even just a smile from the other man would calm his thoughts, settle his mind and warm his heart.

He wasn’t his anymore though, hadn’t been his in over ten months and he had resigned himself to his own fate, that Patrick would never again be his. The Patrick and Kevin story in their group had made headlines, how Kevin had left his long-term boyfriend for Patrick, the way that they where obviously so in love with each other after only a few short weeks and then moved in together just like that. 

It was a fucken fairytale as far as the gay community went in San Francisco.

Neither of them had spoken since he had let Patrick in, they were seated side by side on his couch, the cushions sagging under their combined weight, the rough texture harsh against Richie's bare legs and it was then that he realised that he was only in boxer shorts.

“I came home early, he was fucking some intern from work in our bed.”

Patrick stated blankly, his hands clenched into tight fists where they rested against his thighs, as if that was the only thing holding him together at this point and Richie tried to keep his face expressionless even as his breath punched out of his throat in shock.

“He told me to go to this fucken game convention last week right, was so fucken adamant that the experience would ‘be good for me’ or some shit like that.” Patrick turned his body slightly, eyes boring in to Richie's, a bitter smile plastered on his lips. 

“Fuck, was that just bullshit? Had he planned for me to leave that weekend just so he could cheat on me?”

Richie blinked blankly at the other man, brain trying to catch up with the proceedings as quickly as possible as he tried to fully gather his thoughts and wake up completely. 

This wasn’t a dream.

“I don’t even know why I’m surprised really, that’s how our relationship started after all. It’s actually quite funny if you think about it. How stupid am I for ever believing that it would be different with us? Hey Richie, maybe it’s Karma after what I did to Jon?”

“Don’t be fucken stupid Pato.” The name in which he had always called Patrick slipped from his lips before he could grasp it, unable to stop the endearment at a time when Patrick was so obviously in pain. “It isn’t you that is the fuck up, he is the one that obviously has the problem. You can’t blame yourself for this one.”

“No? I cheated on Jon too, yeah I believed that Kevin loved me, I believed that they where mostly over, but they hadn’t been. Not really. And I think I knew that too, I just needed the distraction, after what happened with...”

He broke off and Ritchie knew without any shadow of a doubt where he had been going with that sentence. _‘After us.’_

Feeling the numbness that had consumed his body for the past year start to melt away, being this close to Patrick again for the first time in too long, Richie was helpless to do anything other than pull the other man against him, his arms seeming to fit so easily around Patrick's shoulders, allowing the man to rest against his throat.

“He is the one in the wrong, he was never good enough for you in the first place Pato, he is not a real man at all, but a coward who needs the vindication from other men to feel better about himself. He never deserved you.”

The words spilling from his mouth are all true, they where words that he had longed to utter for some time now and he was helpless against their flow.

Patrick pulled back only slightly, angling his body to the right in order to look Richie in the eyes once more.

“I am not a good man Richie. Don’t put me on a pedestal like that. After all I have done to you, after every fucken thing, how can you even stand to let me in here? How can you listen to this and not care that it was only a short time ago when I cheated on you, stomped all over your heart?”

“You never cheated on me Patrick, we where already over. And yeah it hurt, I cannot deny that, I was in love with you after all, but we where over and you knew that, and I understand how you wanted a distraction from that. I already forgave you a long time ago for it.”

They where both silent once again, allowing this small confrontation to sink in. The light from the lamp didn’t do much to illuminate the small living room, shadows still lingered here and there, causing the room to seem almost unreal.

“I don’t think I ever really loved him Richie, how stupid is that? I thought I did, convinced myself I did, but I knew the whole time I couldn’t possibly love him when I was so much in love with you.”

And there it was, the words that he had wanted to hear for so long, stated so plainly and so truly that Richie was in no doubt about their accuracy.

“You loved me?” He had to check, if only just to hear them spoken again.

“Yeah I loved you, I still fucken love you, I doubt I will ever not fucken love you Richie. You know how slow I am to get things, completely missed my chance didn’t I. And now I’ve screwed everything up.” He let’s out a bitter laugh, so unlike him in every way that Richie can’t help but to flinch away from it.

“And Kevin? Where is he now?”

“I don’t know, I left him there, cock still buried in that twink's arsehole and told him to have fun and that I would be back in the morning to get my shit out.”

Richie stands, runs a slightly shaking hand through his hair and then down his face, it comes away wet and he realises that at some point he had started crying, now that he realises this it seems almost impossible to stop. His shoulders begin to shake with it as he tries to hold it all in, but unable to stop the sob that leaves his chest, sounding broken in the room.

“Richie don’t, please.”

Patrick’s arms fall around him, the taller man pulling him flush against his chest and he allows himself to have this, falls against Patrick and fists his hands against the other mans ribs, the fabric of his shirt stretching from their grip.

“I’m sorry, I am so, so sorry.”

And Richie know's without any doubt that he is, knows in the way Patrick’s own voice cracks with each word that he too is in as much pain as Richie is about the massive fuck up that was their relationship.

And no, Richie had never thought that there would ever become a time in his life where he would become ‘that’ guy, but was he hell going to let Kevin have another chance with Patrick ever again, he wasn’t going to let him make up some excuse, some web of a lie only to try to draw Patrick back to him. Richie was going to take him, he was going to keep him and never let him go again.

He isn’t certain which one of them goes for the kiss first, knows only the taste of Patrick’s tongue in his mouth, unchangeable as the last time they had done this and it was as perfect as he had always remembered in his dreams. Their hands roam freely, finger nails scratching at skin and hands gripping at hard bone and muscle. Richie grabs a fistful of Patrick's shirt and rips it over his head in one smooth movement, lips wasting no time in chasing the bared flesh of Patrick's skin as he sucks a nipple into his mouth, tongue lapping at the hard nub.

It’s fast and hard, they move towards his bedroom in stops and starts, unable to stop touching for even a second in till they are finally where they are meant to be. Patrick falls back against his sheets, wastes no time in removing his jeans and underwear, kicking his shoes off as he goes.  
Richie is helpless to do anything other than watch, he had fantasized about this happening since they stopped, and to finally be able to have it again? 

He can hardly believe it. 

He follows Patrick’s lead, removes his boxers in till he is left with nothing else, nothing but the love in his heart and the trembles in his hands.

“Come here.” Patrick reaches for him, the other mans hands are shaking as well and it is that, that makes Richie move.

He lowers himself against Patrick, relishing in the feel of the taller mans skin against his own, the way that there cocks line up so perfectly and he gives a small thrust, feeling Patrick twitch against him even as he throws his head back in a moan.

“I’ve wanted this Richie, fuck you have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.”

“Me to Pato, every day for the past ten months I have thought of nothing else. To have you here, like this...” He trails off, lips dragging once more against Patrick's own, teeth biting and tongue probing him deeper and deeper. He wants to reduce Patrick to nothing, take out every loose thought in his head in till all that is left is Richie.

“You can have me, really have me. I want you to.”

And there it is, the thing that they had never managed to do before. The thought of taking Patrick like that so completely is nearly his undoing.

He thrusts against Patrick again even as his hands reach into the draw beside his bed, grasping blindly for what they both need.  
Patrick's hands are all over him, nails scratching patterns against the flesh of his back and he hopes the man leaves marks all over him, evidence for the morning.

“You trying to kill me Pato?” 

They kiss again, their bodies move against each other in a the best kind of dance, the room dark and warm and it’s perfect. Richie opens the cap of the lube, coats his fingers quickly and effortlessly before drawing them down to where Patrick wants him. He slips one in easily, hates the slight jealousy he feels in knowing that Kevin had gotten here first but soon dismisses it, he will never get this again. 

He moves his finger in and out slowly, in till he feel’s Patrick begin to follow his movements unconsciously wanting and needing more. He adds another one, thrusts them in and out in order to make room for himself. It’s amazing, watching Patrick fall apart like this, and Richie knows without any doubt that it is, and will always be, the most beautiful sight to behold.

“Ritchie please, more. I need you, please.”

The way in which Patrick says his name, gasps out the words around his moans, is a high he never thought he would feel. Richie doesn’t draw this out, there will be time later for that, time in which he can worship every inch of Patrick’s body and take from him what he wants. Now though, now he only has one thing in mind.

He reaches blindly for a condom, slips it on his cock slowly, trying to make this last longer than five seconds.

And then he’s inside him, so deep and so right, he fills Patrick to the hilt, his balls resting snugly against Patrick as the other man wraps his legs around him. They take only a moment, gazes locked and breathing harsh against the small space between their bodies, Richie takes in every small detail he can, trying to commit this to memory.  
He gives one experimental thrust, draws himself out to the head and pushes back in, unable to stop himself now that he has started. They move together as one, Patrick pushing up as he drives down and it’s better than anything he could have ever imagined.

Patrick reaches for him, draws him down again so that their lips touch once more, they kiss each other with a passion that can only be as a result of months of longing. He can’t help but speed up, wanting to hear the broken noises coming from Patrick's abused throat again and again.

“I’m close.” Patrick manages to get the words out, his hands are gripping the bars of Richie's headboard now, knuckles white as he hangs on.

“I’ve got you Patrick.” Richie moves one hand between them in order to grasp Patrick in his hand, he is wet with pre come and sweat, allowing his hand to glide over him easily, thumb catching on the head in one up stroke and then Patrick is coming.

Richie lets out his own broken shout, head falling down to rest against Patrick’s colorbone as his hips drill into Patrick still, the other mans muscles clamped down around him and that's all it takes before Richie is coming as well.

No words are spoken for some time, there is no need for them. Richie disposes of the condom quickly and returns to wipe Patrick clean of come before lying down beside him once more. They spend many moments just gazing at one another, small smiles on their lips, placing light, loving touches against each others heated skin.

“I love you to you know, still love you that is.” Richie has to tell him, can’t keep it in any longer and if he is honest with himself he doesn’t want to.

“Yeah? Do you think we can try again? Is that possible for us?” 

Richie pulls back in order to lie down, arm still reached out and Patrick wastes no time in moving into it, coming to rest against Richie’s side, head a comfortable weight against his chest. He takes a moment to think about his answer, eyes drawing down to the dark bruises that litter Patrick’s neck, seeing his mark there sending a wave of possession through him that he had never thought himself capable of before. 

He hadn't know a lot of things about himself before Patrick came along. 

"It's definitely possible Pato, definitely."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
